The workload is already piling on, and I feel like I'm constantly under water. I feel out of breath, but not drowning... surprisingly. I've been missing people lately, but I crave alone time more. The past month feels like I've been constantly on the go... and have been surrounded by people, which has its perks. But it's quite... exhausting.
I just need a hard reset. Because... I’m doing it again. Filtering people in my life. Forcing people out. For all it’s worth, I am putting forth a lot of effort to keep the people I genuinely want in my life. But I’m not sure of myself. I'm not overthinking, but I feel too tired to even think. I just know... It takes two to sustain any kind of relationship. Some people just don’t try for me. And anyone who cannot at least try for me don’t deserve any or all of me.
I guess the little changes I've made caused people to forget or not know that I’m impossible. To keep. No one believes they take things for granted until the thing they took for granted is gone. And I usually don’t realize how many people take me for granted until I leave. Once I know it’s over or decide it’s over... I leave. I disappear. I don’t turn back. I’ve been known as the kind to move forward with or without people. It sounds sad and extreme, but it’s not. Life is too short to waste time on people who don’t impact your life, or make you doubt your worth. Even if you're busy, it doesn't take much to tell someone that you're busy. I've always done too much, and I don't want that for myself anymore. I want to feel the way I've made others feel - like they matter.
Enough with the chit chat, back to errands and books. Happy Sunday. Anon.
